Pia shares Her Dark Half

Facing rejection is an inevitable part of any creative career. Whether you are an artist, writer or musician, the pain of rejection can be irritating, sting deeply or even haunt you for years.

As a creative, I have encountered rejection in many ways: my films not getting into certain film festivals, missing out on nominations for screenwriting or acting roles, not nailing that acting audition; or being shut out of art exhibits and galleries. You get the idea. 

My emotional response to rejection varies wildly. Sometimes, I simply brush it off, while other times it feels like a gut punch. In worst cases, it delivers a crushing blow that makes me question my talent and skills. 

Over the years, I have learned a trick or two on how to deal with rejection, but I’m human and it still gets to me every once in a while. It recently happened again and the sting of rejection hit hard and affected my self confidence as an artist - for a few days. Once I got over my angry, sad and then pouty phase, I felt prompted to look up some suggestions on how to better deal with it.

I then figured it would make a good subject for my newsletter, for which I happened to be struggling to find a theme! Funny how the universe provides, innit?

Let me count the ways…

Rejection isn’t always an outright “NO”. Here are some ways it can manifest:

Portfolio or audition rejection: This is perhaps the most direct form of rejection. An artist submits their work for consideration, e.g. in the form of a portfolio for a painter or a demo for a musician; and it's not selected.

Negative reviews or criticism: Public opinion can be harsh. Whether it's a scathing review of a performance, painting, or song, or critical feedback from a mentor or teacher, negative assessments can feel like rejection.

Industry gatekeepers: Many industries have influential figures (agents, managers, record labels, etc.) who decide which artists to support. Being rejected by them can impact an artist’s confidence and career trajectory. 

Lack of interest or engagement: Sometimes, the most painful rejection is the absence of any response at all. An artist might share their work with the world, only to be met with silence or indifference. Even if an artist receives positive feedback, a lack of commercial success can be a form of rejection. Not selling artwork, not filling theater seats, or not achieving desired record sales can be a major setback.

Internal rejection: Perhaps the most challenging form of rejection is self-doubt. An artist may question their talent, creativity, or worthiness, leading to a sense of internal rejection.

How to deal?

My coping mechanisms range from moping to crying to day-drinking or writing angry emails and then deleting them. I have, once or twice, made the mistake of actually sending off such emails, which I later regretted. As a creative person, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I can be impulsive. I try to learn from my mistakes. I believe that my sensitivity and vulnerability are also what make me a deeply empathetic and creative individual. And I’m okay with that.

Acceptance and then the “But, whyyy?”

“Because you’re not good enough!” Ok, that’s harsh, but that is the line that loves to go round and round in my head after I get a “NO”. Then I remember that personal bias and taste sometimes do play a significant role. There can also be external factors such as timing, luck, the availability of space and time in film festivals or galleries, and other unforeseen issues. The fact is, rejection is not always a reflection of talent or effort.

But what if it is? Well, then…

Let me share my tips for managing rejection… and moving on:

Acknowledge and process your emotions: Let it out! It's okay to feel disappointed, angry, or frustrated. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment.

Reframe your perspective: Understand that rejection is often subjective and not a reflection of your personal worth or overall talent. Instead of seeing rejection as a personal failure, maybe view it as a redirection.

Learn from it: When possible, ask for feedback from the decision-makers. Constructive criticism can provide insights for improvement and growth. Can you improve your work based on the feedback? Every experience is a learning opportunity.

Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who believe in your talent. Surround yourself with fellow creatives who understand your journey. Sharing experiences and encouraging each other can be incredibly therapeutic.

Build resilience: Develop a thick skin and learn to bounce back. Celebrate small victories and focus on your progress. Every rejection is a step closer to success. Keep pushing forward.

Focus on Your Passion: Remember why you started in the first place. Rediscovering your love for your art can help you regain perspective and motivation.

Most, if not all successful artists have faced tough setbacks before achieving recognition. Remember, rejection, although sucky, can ultimately serve as a powerful motivator for artistic growth and persistence. What did Steve Martin say? “Be so good they can’t ignore you”. And another quote I’m a big fan of:

There you have it. Now, go on and keep creating!

Last night was the screening of Best of 48hr Film Project and a film I acted in, called “Being Super“, was among them. I’m not surprised because the team I was part of (for the first time) is the “Amalgamated Grommets”. Directed by Michael Brueggemeyer, the short is a lovely, heartwarming tale of love and redemption.

I had a great time with this super (get it? 😜) talented cast and crew and it felt so good to be on a film set again! More of this! If you’d like to check out the 7-minute film, you can see it on editor Robin Martin’s vimeo page (free).

Otherwise I’ve been very busy with art/writing projects. “Diary of an Indoor Cat” is nearing the finish line and going through final edits now.

My other, big project is tentatively titled “The Scary Ones”. Basically it’s a dark fairy tale - not for kids, cause there’s a horror element to it. The dark tale will have accompanying art on each page. That’s about 30 or so paintings! At least the written story is already finished, minus some minor edits as the whole thing comes together. I am documenting the progress with exclusive behind the scenes pics and excerpts on my Patreon – please consider joining my tribe while the project is still in the beginning stages.

This is a free edition of Pia shares Her Dark Half. Like, comment or share if you will!

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Thank you for your support!

Have a great rest of the summer!

Pia